Tear
by SHNfanyay
Summary: It's SesshouMaru's thoughts about when he told Rin to leave and never return, kind of... ShippouRin, (implied) SessKag, one-shot... mainly one of those 'thinking' fics', in third person pov centered around SesshouMaru


Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha or any of it's characters. ^.^  
  
Ch1  
  
SesshouMaru sighed as he stared down at Rin, who was laying on her death bed. Next to her was her husband, the kitsune whom had followed his half-brother for so long. And surrounding her, were her three children, two boys and one girl. He had smirked when he remembered what she had named them, SesshouMaru, Kagome and Inuyasha. Shippou had agreed fully on the names, even though he would have preferred to have one of them named after himself.  
Although SesshouMaru wanted nothing more than to be able to be by her side, and tell her that everything would be alright, like he had done many years ago when she was but a child who had waken up from a nightmare, he know that he couldn't. She had told him what she wanted, and he couldn't bring himself to go against it, no matter how much he wanted to.  
  
~*FLASHBACK*~  
  
Rin sat in the garden, watching the wind blow the grass. It was her sixteenth birthday, but no one really noticed, especially not SesshouMaru. She sighed as she thought about all the times she had tried to hint off to him that she loved him and all the times he had ignored her signs of interest. She knew, deep down, that he loved her but it just wasn't the same way that she loved him. But simply 'knowing' something and excepting something as the truth can be two very different things. After a while, Jaken came out side, "Lord SesshouMaru wishes to see you, human." in all the years she had known him, the imp still identified her by her race, and not her name.  
Rin got up and left, not even bothering to talk to Jaken. She ran towards SesshouMaru's study, since she was sure he would be in there, hoping that, just maybe, he hadn't been ignoring her quite as much as she thought he had been. And that, just maybe, he was acting uninterested until he could sort out his feelings. 'Perhaps today will be that day that my wishes come true and he will tell me that he loves me!' She though gleefully as she approached the study doors.  
She knocked on the door and didn't have wait long before she heard SesshouMaru's emotionless voice, "You may enter, Rin."  
She walked in and smiled at him, "You wished to see me, SesshouMaru- sama?"  
He nodded, "Rin, you're growing up and are at the age for humans, such as yourself, to choose a mate." (I know sixteen seems young for that, but this is the warring states era of Japan we're talking about for crap's sake! Just go with it...) He stopped for a second to let all this sink in before continuing, "Over the last couple of years, I had been debating with myself whether or not having you grow up with male demons was the best choice for you," Again he paused for a moment, "and I have decided that, perhaps, it was one of the few times I have been wrong about something, and I regret it."  
"W-what do you mean?" Rin asked, her hopes of him revealing his true love for her shattering.  
He sighed, "Listen, Rin, I have noticed that you have been acting... differently... around me now compared to when you were younger, and I can tell the reason why but I don't think-"  
Tears started to fall down Rin's cheeks, "P-please, SesshouMaru-sama, please don't say it! I don't think my heart would be able to bare the truth!"  
"The truth can be a very difficult thing, Rin, but that dose not make alright to ever hide from it. Now I want you listen, to me, it could never work between us. I can tell that you have feelings for me, and I feel for you, too, but what I feel can never go beyond what a father feels for his daughter, no matter how much you wish otherwise."  
Rin sank to her knees, "I know but... that never made my feelings for you waver. I love you, SesshouMaru-sama, with all my heart and that will never change."  
"It may seem that way but, other than Jaken, I am the only other male whom you have ever actually connected with and been around. It's only natural for you to think that way, but there is a man somewhere out there for you. A kind, yet strong, man who will be willing to protect you with all his heart. But you will never be able to meet him if you spend all your time here, chasing after a love that cannot exist."  
"S-so you want me to leave?" her voice was quiet, and SesshouMaru could smell light traces of fear coming off of her, "W-what if I never get to see you again, or I never love anyone other than you?"  
SesshouMaru walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder, "Rin, it is foolish of you to think that way. I will always be here for you, and you will find someone. Please understand that it is not your place to be with me. Go and find someone, be they demon, human, or even henyou, just as long as you're happy." He helped her stand up, and tilted her head so that she was looking into his eyes, "Do this, if not just for yourself, then do it for me so that I know that you will not leave this world feeling the sorrow of being alone, and ignored by the one you think you love. I've seen it happen before, and I refuse to let it happen again."  
Rin shook her head, "I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. You think that I'll end up just like Kagome, killing myself out of grief, don't you?"  
SesshouMaru sighed, "Rin, don't bring her up."  
"You're just afraid of being just like Inuyasha," She paused when she heard him softly growl, a warning not to continue. But she continued, "That, even if I do meet someone who was 'meant for me', I'll ignore them, and be alone. But you're wrong because the only one who's meant for me is too scared to admit it."  
"This SesshouMaru fears nothing."  
"Then why?! Why can't you admit your true feelings for me?!"  
SesshouMaru sighed, "Rin, I know what my feelings for you are. The one who is having trouble admitting the truth is you."  
"B-but, who else could you love? Who else did you respect enough to even consider being your friend?" Rin already knew the answer, but was having a hard time excepting the truth without hearing it from SesshouMaru himself.  
"Rin, you know who. But this has nothing to do with her-"  
"Yes it dose! This has everything to do with her, and you can't even bring yourself to say her name."  
"You have to move on, Rin, and find someone who can actually love you, in the ways that I cannot."  
Rin shook her head, "No, you're the one that has to move on, SesshouMaru-sama. She's dead, alright? The dead cannot love, no matter how much you want them to."  
"Yes, I know. That is a lesson that my brother had taught me already, but she's not dead, Rin. And, as long as she's alive, I shall remain faithful to her."  
"But she is, SesshouMaru! You saw her kill herself as well as I did!"  
SesshouMaru shook his head, "She didn't kill herself, Rin. Now, please understand, this is what's best for you"  
"But she did, SesshouMaru-sama. Kagome jumped down a dry well, and no human could have survived that. It's unhealthy for you to keep going on like this. Please, just let me love you, and I'll be able to heal the ach in your heart, and let you forget her."  
SesshouMaru growled, "Rin, listen to me. I don't want to see you around here ever again. Now leave, and never return to this SesshouMaru's ancestral home!"  
"Fine! You know what, I never want to see you again for the rest of my life!!" Rin stormed out of the study, and that was the last time she had ever spoken to SesshouMaru, Taiyoukia of the Western Keep.  
Watching her leave, SesshouMaru wiped the stray tear that fell from his eye, "It's for the best. I hope you live a happy life, my pup."  
  
~*END FLASHBACK*~  
  
Yes, he had heard with his own two ears what she had said, and was honor bound to stay away from her. Although, it would be a lie to say that there was never a time, when he had been watching her in secrecy, that it had taken all of his willpower to not go down there and tell her that he still care, or that he was there for her.  
  
~*FLASHBACK*~  
  
Rin sat in a hut and wept. She had been wondering around Japan for some time when she had come across the village she had taken up residence in before SesshouMaru found her. Since it's inhabitance had been killed off by wolves, she had figured it would be empty, and decided that it would be a good place to rest. But, as she sat there, all she could think about were the feeling of the wolf's fangs as they dug into her flesh before she died, and how it was SesshouMaru who had saved her. Then, her thoughts strayed to all her years with the stoic dog demon, and the fight she had with him.  
Outside the hut, on a nearby tree branch, SesshouMaru sat and listened to her crying. He sighed, 'Rin, I'm sorry to have caused you so much pain. I never wanted you to be hurting like this, but I can't go down to comfort you. Please forgive me.' Deciding that he couldn't stand to stay there any longer, SesshouMaru was about to leave. He stopped, however, when a familiar scent caught his attention, 'The fox? What is he doing here?' Staying on the branch, SesshouMaru casted a small spell to mask his scent and watched.  
Rin looked up when she heard the flap that served as a door to the hut move. She was surprised to see a kitsune smiling down at her, "Rin?" he asked.  
She nodded, and looked up at him for a while before realization struck her, "Shippou? Is that you?"  
He nodded and looked around, "Where's SesshouMaru? I didn't think you'd be aloud to go anywhere without him or that stupid toad around."  
Rin started to cry, "We had a fight."  
He knelt down by her and let her cry on him, "Shh, shh, don't worry. It's alright, Rin. Just let it all out. I'm here for you."  
  
~*END FLASHBACK*~  
  
From that time on Shippou never left Rin's side, and vise-versa. All the while, SesshouMaru had watched from the shadows, silently wishing that he could've let her know that he was there when she got married, or when she had her first, second, and third child. Sighing, SesshouMaru leapt down from his tree, and walked up to the hut. He stood in front of the wall that was closet to where Rin was laying and spoke, "I know that you never wanted to see me, but I figured that it couldn't hurt for your to, at least, hear me before you go."  
Rin's voice, which would have been quiet to any human, was loud and clear to SesshouMaru as she spoke, "I take it back, SesshouMaru-sama. I didn't realize it back then, but you were right..." she took a deep breath before continuing, "...I really did live a happy life... But, the one thing that would make me happier would be to see your face just one last time."  
He smiled as he walked into the hut, "Of course, Rin."  
She smiled up at him, "You still look that same as you did when I first met you. Like an angel."  
He knelt down next to her, "I'm sorry that I missed out on the things fathers usually do with their daughters but-"  
SesshouMaru was cut off by Rin's laughter, which quickly turned into a fit of coughs, "SesshouMaru-sama, don't try to fool me. I know that you've been there for me. I didn't need the strong sense of smell that demons have to tell me that you were there. And..." She had to take another breath, "And Shippou told me about the well, and the promise he had heard you make to Kagome. When the time comes that you're reunited with her I want to be as happy with Kagome as I was with Shippou."  
SesshouMaru nodded, "Don't worry, Rin, I will."  
"SesshouMaru, Shippou, and my children," She coughed again, "I want you all to know this, before I go... I... love you... all..." With that her eyes closed, and she exhaled and her heart beat stopped.  
SesshouMaru felt another tear fall from his eye as he, yet again, watched his daughter leave, but this time he did not bother to wipe it away. Instead, he took his three grandchildren outside, to get to know them better, while Shippou paid his respects to Rin.  
  
(Cheesy ending, I know, but then again, so was the whole story. I have to admit, touchy things like this aren't really my forte, but whatever. I hope you enjoyed it...) 


End file.
